Noah's Ark, Kent
Slate Carving in Noah's Ark
Your competitors in Noah's Ark are one bad website away from losing the job to you.
What slate carving looks like round here
Hand-finished slate signs with real character — not plastic pretending to be stone.
We work with Noah's Ark businesses the same way we work with everyone: you tell us what you need, we tell you what it costs, and then we build it. No discovery workshops, no mood boards, no account manager ringing you for a "quick sync".
Why Noah's Ark businesses call us
- Local pages that rank for "slate carving noah's ark"
- One price, agreed up front, in writing
- You speak to the person building it
- Live in weeks, not quarters
- Own your site, your domain and your data
Population 0 — plenty of people who could be buying off you.
Slate Carving — the Noah's Ark map
Landmarks pulled live from OpenStreetMap. We know where Noah's Ark is, and so will Google when your site goes live.
Slate Carving, and a word about Noah's Ark
You won't win Noah's Ark on volume. You'll win it by being the one business round here whose website doesn't look abandoned.
Half the businesses round Noah's Ark are still paying monthly for a builder site they can't edit and don't own. If that's you, we'll move it, and you keep the keys.
If you don't need us — and sometimes you don't — we'll say so and save you the money.
No pitch deck, no discovery phase. Tell us about the Noah's Ark job and we'll tell you the cost.
Real-world example
Example: Slate Carving in Noah's Ark
Delaney Group — Noah's Ark. Names changed, jobs didn't.
The state of it
The site loaded in nine seconds, had a stock photo of a handshake, and said absolutely nothing about what they actually charge.
What we built
- Click-to-call button pinned to the bottom on mobile
- Real photos of real work — no handshakes, no stock nonsense
- Quote form that lands in your inbox and your phone in seconds
- A one-page-per-thing structure so Google knows exactly what you sell
- A simple editor so they can change prices without ringing us
What happened
Cost of the site paid back in under six weeks of extra work.
3 → 68
Enquiries / month
9.3s → 1.1s
Load time
9 days
Built in
£1700
Cost
"It just works. Phone rings. That's all I wanted."
Also in Noah's Ark: Services
Everything below has its own Noah's Ark page — same fixed pricing, same plain English.
Slate Carving without the Noah's Ark bit
The national pages, if you'd rather read the detail before we talk postcodes.
Slate Carving near Noah's Ark
Same price, same turnaround, different postcode. Distances are from Noah's Ark town centre.
- Slate Carving in Kemsingnext door
- Slate Carving in Seal1 km
- Slate Carving in Greatness2 km
- Slate Carving in Heaverham2 km
- Slate Carving in Wildernesse2 km
- Slate Carving in Styants Bottom2 km
- Slate Carving in Otford3 km
- Slate Carving in Godden Green3 km
- Slate Carving in Romney Street3 km
- Slate Carving in Bitchet Green4 km
- Slate Carving in Knatts Valley4 km
- Slate Carving in Ightham Common4 km
Tell us what you need
Send a couple of lines about your business. You'll get a straight answer and a price within one working day.
- 07932 064593· Text us
- info@websitesnobollocks.com
- All over the UK · Mon–Fri 8am–6pm