🪨 Slate Carving
House Signs
Personalised slate house signs and number plaques.
What you get
- Fixed price before we start
- Built for your business, not a template
- Mobile-first and fast loading
- Plain-English copy that sells
- Human support, not a chatbot
- Turnaround in days, not months
You don't get
- Hidden fees
- Monthly ransom to keep it live
- Jargon nobody understands
- Waiting weeks for a reply
Ready to talk?
Tell us what you need and we'll send a fixed quote — usually the same day.
Typical price: from £60. Final quote depends on exactly what you need.
How it works
Tell us what you need
One call. No sales script.
Fixed price quote
In writing before we start.
We build it
Fast, properly, no faff.
You own it
Files, domain, the lot.
Real-world example
Example: House Signs in Glasgow
Hargreaves & Daughters — Glasgow. Names changed, jobs didn't.
The state of it
Their web guy vanished, the domain nearly expired, and nobody knew the password to anything.
What we built
- Plain-English pricing so time-wasters filter themselves out
- Reviews pulled in so new customers trust you before they ring
- Page speed under two seconds on a bad 4G signal
- Google Business Profile cleaned up and connected
- Click-to-call button pinned to the bottom on mobile
What happened
They dropped the directory subscription within three months and kept the difference.
5 → 34
Enquiries / month
9.8s → 1.5s
Load time
15 days
Built in
£1950
Cost
"First web person who told me what it cost before I'd finished the sentence."
Who asks for house signs
These sectors order this most. Each one has its own page with prices, examples and the bits that actually matter — or browse all industries.
House Signs for gyms & personal trainers
Timetables, memberships and free-trial sign-ups.
See the sector page Trades & PropertyHouse Signs for electricians
Certs, callouts and rewires. Emergency numbers front and centre.
See the sector page Home & LifestyleHouse Signs for locksmiths & security
24/7 callout numbers and coverage that ranks locally.
See the sector page Tech, Media & MarketingHouse Signs for marketing agencies
Results-first case studies. Less jargon, more numbers.
See the sector page Food, Drink & HospitalityHouse Signs for cafés & bakeries
Daily specials, order-ahead and a menu you can edit yourself.
See the sector page Pets, Animals & OutdoorsHouse Signs for campsites & glamping
Pitch availability, direct bookings, no commission.
See the sector page Health & WellbeingHouse Signs for dentists & orthodontics
Treatment pricing, finance options and new-patient forms.
See the sector page Trades & PropertyHouse Signs for estate agents
Listings, valuations and landlord portals. Fast and searchable.
See the sector pageHouse Signs in your town
We cover every town and village in the UK. Pick yours, or see all 36,061 of them.
People who want house signs usually want these too
Bundle them and it's one quote, one build, one invoice.
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Tell us what you need
Send a couple of lines about your business. You'll get a straight answer and a price within one working day.
- 07932 064593· Text us
- info@websitesnobollocks.com
- All over the UK · Mon–Fri 8am–6pm