Funzie, Shetland Islands
Slate Carving in Funzie
Funzie isn't short of businesses. It's short of ones that are easy to find.
What slate carving looks like round here
Hand-finished slate signs with real character — not plastic pretending to be stone.
We work with Funzie businesses the same way we work with everyone: you tell us what you need, we tell you what it costs, and then we build it. No discovery workshops, no mood boards, no account manager ringing you for a "quick sync".
Why Funzie businesses call us
- Local pages that rank for "slate carving funzie"
- One price, agreed up front, in writing
- You speak to the person building it
- Live in weeks, not quarters
- Own your site, your domain and your data
Population 0 — plenty of people who could be buying off you.
Slate Carving — the Funzie map
Landmarks pulled live from OpenStreetMap. We know where Funzie is, and so will Google when your site goes live.
Slate Carving, and a word about Funzie
Funzie is small, and small is fine. One clear page that loads fast beats a twenty-page monster nobody reads.
You don't need a brand strategy workshop in Funzie. You need clear prices, honest photos, and a page that tells people what to do next.
We're not local to Funzie, and we won't pretend to be. We just build the site, you keep running the business, and nobody has to sit through a meeting.
Send us the name of your Funzie business and what you want it to do. We'll come back with a price and a date.
Real-world example
Example: Slate Carving in Funzie
Pemberton Bros — Funzie. Names changed, jobs didn't.
The state of it
Their old site was built in 2014 by a mate of a mate and hadn't been touched since. It looked broken on phones and the contact form had been quietly emailing a dead inbox for two years.
What we built
- Quote form that lands in your inbox and your phone in seconds
- A one-page-per-thing structure so Google knows exactly what you sell
- A simple editor so they can change prices without ringing us
- Area pages for every town they cover
- Plain-English pricing so time-wasters filter themselves out
What happened
The phone stopped ringing with tyre-kickers and started ringing with jobs.
7 → 72
Enquiries / month
9.6s → 1.3s
Load time
21 days
Built in
£850
Cost
"No waffle, no ten meetings. Sent them the details, got a site, got customers."
Also in Funzie: Services
Everything below has its own Funzie page — same fixed pricing, same plain English.
Slate Carving without the Funzie bit
The national pages, if you'd rather read the detail before we talk postcodes.
Slate Carving near Funzie
Same price, same turnaround, different postcode. Distances are from Funzie town centre.
- Slate Carving in Houbie4 km
- Slate Carving in Fetlar6 km
- Slate Carving in Herra6 km
- Slate Carving in Brough Lodge9 km
- Slate Carving in Ramnageo11 km
- Slate Carving in Muness11 km
- Slate Carving in Clivocast12 km
- Slate Carving in Uyeasound13 km
- Slate Carving in North Sandwick13 km
- Slate Carving in Aywick13 km
- Slate Carving in Gutcher15 km
- Slate Carving in Cunnister15 km
Tell us what you need
Send a couple of lines about your business. You'll get a straight answer and a price within one working day.
- 07932 064593· Text us
- info@websitesnobollocks.com
- All over the UK · Mon–Fri 8am–6pm