The Holmes, Derby
Social Media in The Holmes
Half the The Holmes search results load like it's still dial-up. Easy win, that.
What social media looks like round here
Profiles, covers and content that don't look like they were made in 2012.
We work with The Holmes businesses the same way we work with everyone: you tell us what you need, we tell you what it costs, and then we build it. No discovery workshops, no mood boards, no account manager ringing you for a "quick sync".
Why The Holmes businesses call us
- Local pages that rank for "social media the holmes"
- One price, agreed up front, in writing
- You speak to the person building it
- Live in weeks, not quarters
- Own your site, your domain and your data
Population 0 — plenty of people who could be buying off you.
Social Media — the The Holmes map
Landmarks pulled live from OpenStreetMap. We know where The Holmes is, and so will Google when your site goes live.
Social Media, and a word about The Holmes
You won't win The Holmes on volume. You'll win it by being the one business round here whose website doesn't look abandoned.
People check you on their phone, in a car park, with one bar of signal. If it doesn't load there, it doesn't exist. That's the standard we build to.
Everything's a fixed price agreed before we start. If it goes over, that's our problem, not your invoice.
No pitch deck, no discovery phase. Tell us about the The Holmes job and we'll tell you the cost.
Real-world example
Example: Social Media in The Holmes
Merriman & Sons — The Holmes. Names changed, jobs didn't.
The state of it
They had a Facebook page and a phone number written on a van. That was the whole marketing strategy.
What we built
- Area pages for every town they cover
- Plain-English pricing so time-wasters filter themselves out
- Reviews pulled in so new customers trust you before they ring
- Page speed under two seconds on a bad 4G signal
- Google Business Profile cleaned up and connected
What happened
Enquiries went from a trickle to a queue. They've since put a second van on the road.
10 → 42
Enquiries / month
9.0s → 1.6s
Load time
14 days
Built in
£1850
Cost
"It just works. Phone rings. That's all I wanted."
Also in The Holmes: Services
Everything below has its own The Holmes page — same fixed pricing, same plain English.
Social Media without the The Holmes bit
The national pages, if you'd rather read the detail before we talk postcodes.
Cover Photos
Headers and banners that work across Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube and X.
from £50More social mediaFacebook Setup
Professional page setup with cover, profile and business details.
from £99More social mediaInstagram Setup
Bio, highlights, grid plan and profile optimised for your trade.
from £99Social Media near The Holmes
Same price, same turnaround, different postcode. Distances are from The Holmes town centre.
- Social Media in Derbynext door
- Social Media in Litchurchnext door
- Social Media in Little Chester1 km
- Social Media in Wilmorton2 km
- Social Media in New Zealand2 km
- Social Media in Darley Abbey2 km
- Social Media in Chaddesden3 km
- Social Media in Breadsall Hilltop3 km
- Social Media in Littleover3 km
- Social Media in Markeaton3 km
- Social Media in Crewton3 km
- Social Media in Allestree3 km
Tell us what you need
Send a couple of lines about your business. You'll get a straight answer and a price within one working day.
- 07932 064593· Text us
- info@websitesnobollocks.com
- All over the UK · Mon–Fri 8am–6pm