
The Splatts, Wiltshire
Slate Carving in The Splatts
The Splatts isn't short of businesses. It's short of ones that are easy to find.
What slate carving looks like round here
Hand-finished slate signs with real character — not plastic pretending to be stone.
We work with The Splatts businesses the same way we work with everyone: you tell us what you need, we tell you what it costs, and then we build it. No discovery workshops, no mood boards, no account manager ringing you for a "quick sync".
Why The Splatts businesses call us
- Local pages that rank for "slate carving the splatts"
- One price, agreed up front, in writing
- You speak to the person building it
- Live in weeks, not quarters
- Own your site, your domain and your data
Population 0 — plenty of people who could be buying off you.
Slate Carving — the The Splatts map
Landmarks pulled live from OpenStreetMap. We know where The Splatts is, and so will Google when your site goes live.
Slate Carving, and a word about The Splatts
The Splatts is small, and small is fine. One clear page that loads fast beats a twenty-page monster nobody reads.
Most local sites we're sent have the same three faults: it takes an age to load, the phone number's an image, and the last update was a Christmas opening hours post from years back. All three are fixable in an afternoon.
We're not local to The Splatts, and we won't pretend to be. We just build the site, you keep running the business, and nobody has to sit through a meeting.
One email, one straight answer, one price. That's the The Splatts process.
Real-world example
Example: Slate Carving in The Splatts
Prendergast Trading — The Splatts. Names changed, jobs didn't.
The state of it
They had a Facebook page and a phone number written on a van. That was the whole marketing strategy.
What we built
- Area pages for every town they cover
- Plain-English pricing so time-wasters filter themselves out
- Reviews pulled in so new customers trust you before they ring
- Page speed under two seconds on a bad 4G signal
- Google Business Profile cleaned up and connected
What happened
Enquiries went from a trickle to a queue. They've since put a second van on the road.
10 → 36
Enquiries / month
9.6s → 1.4s
Load time
10 days
Built in
£1500
Cost
"It just works. Phone rings. That's all I wanted."
Also in The Splatts: Services
Everything below has its own The Splatts page — same fixed pricing, same plain English.
Slate Carving without the The Splatts bit
The national pages, if you'd rather read the detail before we talk postcodes.
Slate Carving near The Splatts
Same price, same turnaround, different postcode. Distances are from The Splatts town centre.
- Slate Carving in Heddingtonnext door
- Slate Carving in Mile Elm3 km
- Slate Carving in Sandy Lane3 km
- Slate Carving in Blackland3 km
- Slate Carving in Quemerford3 km
- Slate Carving in Chittoe4 km
- Slate Carving in Tanis4 km
- Slate Carving in Calstone Wellington4 km
- Slate Carving in Theobald's Green4 km
- Slate Carving in Rowde4 km
- Slate Carving in Roundway4 km
- Slate Carving in Calne4 km

Tell us what you need
Send a couple of lines about your business. You'll get a straight answer and a price within one working day.
- 07932 064593· Text us
- info@websitesnobollocks.com
- All over the UK · Mon–Fri 8am–6pm


