Upper Upnor, Medway
Slate Carving in Upper Upnor
Upper Upnor isn't short of businesses. It's short of ones that are easy to find.
What slate carving looks like round here
Hand-finished slate signs with real character — not plastic pretending to be stone.
We work with Upper Upnor businesses the same way we work with everyone: you tell us what you need, we tell you what it costs, and then we build it. No discovery workshops, no mood boards, no account manager ringing you for a "quick sync".
Why Upper Upnor businesses call us
- Local pages that rank for "slate carving upper upnor"
- One price, agreed up front, in writing
- You speak to the person building it
- Live in weeks, not quarters
- Own your site, your domain and your data
Population 0 — plenty of people who could be buying off you.
Slate Carving — the Upper Upnor map
Landmarks pulled live from OpenStreetMap. We know where Upper Upnor is, and so will Google when your site goes live.
Slate Carving, and a word about Upper Upnor
Upper Upnor is small, and small is fine. One clear page that loads fast beats a twenty-page monster nobody reads.
You don't need a brand strategy workshop in Upper Upnor. You need clear prices, honest photos, and a page that tells people what to do next.
We're not local to Upper Upnor, and we won't pretend to be. We just build the site, you keep running the business, and nobody has to sit through a meeting.
No pitch deck, no discovery phase. Tell us about the Upper Upnor job and we'll tell you the cost.
Real-world example
Example: Slate Carving in Upper Upnor
Kaur & Co — Upper Upnor. Names changed, jobs didn't.
The state of it
They were getting all their work from one directory that took a fat cut of every job, and nothing from Google.
What we built
- Reviews pulled in so new customers trust you before they ring
- Page speed under two seconds on a bad 4G signal
- Google Business Profile cleaned up and connected
- Click-to-call button pinned to the bottom on mobile
- Real photos of real work — no handshakes, no stock nonsense
What happened
They now turn work away in summer, which is a nice problem to have.
8 → 49
Enquiries / month
9.4s → 1.8s
Load time
18 days
Built in
£1650
Cost
"No waffle, no ten meetings. Sent them the details, got a site, got customers."
Also in Upper Upnor: Services
Everything below has its own Upper Upnor page — same fixed pricing, same plain English.
Slate Carving without the Upper Upnor bit
The national pages, if you'd rather read the detail before we talk postcodes.
Slate Carving near Upper Upnor
Same price, same turnaround, different postcode. Distances are from Upper Upnor town centre.
- Slate Carving in Lower Upnornext door
- Slate Carving in Wainscottnext door
- Slate Carving in Chattenden1 km
- Slate Carving in Noke Street2 km
- Slate Carving in Frindsbury2 km
- Slate Carving in Strood2 km
- Slate Carving in Rochester2 km
- Slate Carving in Gillingham3 km
- Slate Carving in Chatham3 km
- Slate Carving in Troy Town3 km
- Slate Carving in Hoo3 km
- Slate Carving in Cliffe Woods3 km
Tell us what you need
Send a couple of lines about your business. You'll get a straight answer and a price within one working day.
- 07932 064593· Text us
- info@websitesnobollocks.com
- All over the UK · Mon–Fri 8am–6pm